On L.A.'s Sunset Strip, the Mondrian Hotel's Sky Bar is where stars — and too-trendy poseurs — go to be seen on the scene. Last week, Fox put TV critics' names on the club's famed "list," inviting us to mingle with talent from their new fall series. Well, this schmoozy soiree had two things going for it: stiff Mai Tais and handsome TV celebs consuming them with gusto!

Can't Hardly Wait star Peter Facinelli arrived solo; his pregnant wife Jennie Garth (Beverly Hills, 90210) was home with their daughter. In Fastlane's pilot episode, the 28-year-old actor bares his butt — and gets his groin "frisked" — in sexy scenes with co-star Jennifer Sky. Does he mind playing a lust object?

"I have no problems with that," Facinelli grinned. "Everybody has an ass. Some are hairier than others. I've shown mine in films and I don't find it gratuitous. It's a body part, like an arm." Shrugging, he added: "If people get a big thrill out of it, big whoop-dee-doo for me. I don't care. When people make love, they take their clothes off. I can't have sex with my jeans on."

Indeed! Speaking of hairy derrieres, I just had to ask: Was Facinelli required to shave his for art's sake? "No," he snickered. "From what I saw in the pilot, it didn't look too hairy or I might've had to. I got a baboon's ass. Smooth!"

Heading poolside for fresh air — wouldn't you after such a racy tête à tête? — I found more smooth bodies in the water. These were "fortune divers" — stunning male and female models hired to fetch predictions from the bottom of the pool for delighted guests. 24 castmember Dennis Haysbert got one that read: "Your lucky number is 24."

Hmm... Color me cynical, but methinks these fortunes were penned by a Fox publicist.

Anyway, you needn't be psychic to know why American Idol judges Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell stayed at opposite ends of Sky Bar all night. Proving their mutual enmity extends offscreen, they sniped about one another to any reporter who'd listen! Whatever.

Hey, Michael Chiklis! You've just earned an Emmy nomination — as outstanding lead actor in a drama — for playing badass cop Vic Mackey on FX's The Shield. What'll you do now? Thumb your nose at advertisers who succumbed to pressure to boycott the hit show's sexy, violent content? Well, maybe just a little...

"I think [Shield's nominations] are just an affirmation and a vindication for us," Chiklis tells TV Guide Online. "This is in keeping with what we've said all along about this controversy, which is that quality is always defensible.

"I don't know if I would call it an 'f--- you,'" he adds diplomatically, "because it is a serious matter that [boycotters] are talking about, which is the effect of TV programming on children. I happen to be a parent. However, I think a lot of these well-intentioned but very misguided people are disillusioned by what they see in society — and they have some sort of function inside them that makes them need to allot blame to somebody.